Tag Archives: funny

In the Beginning

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl and fell in love with reading.  I wanted to read way before parents were allowed to teach their kids anything about it before kindergarten and even first grade.  My mom would read me my favourite books so much that I actually started to read a bit on my own.  Once I learned to read in school, though, there was no holding me back.  I remember driving with my parents and them asking me what a sign might say and I would patiently sound out each letter until the word seemed to appear in my head and burst out of my mouth.  Every time my family would cheer and applaud me for my efforts.

I would read to my little sister most nights, giving her the stories I heard and loved.  I would try to teach her to read while we played “Teacher”.

writngWriting came next and it seemed like a natural thing. I wrote plays for my family and friends to act in.  Quite elaborate ones too.  One of them I remember quite well because it was about a dragon (my dad) and the prince (my cousin, Freddy) having a battle over the princess, (my little sister, Colleen).  I was the director.  This all took place in the kitchen at our cottage at the beach.  The dragon kept blowing fire at the prince and I kept yelling at the prince to put out the fire.  Unfortunately, the prince got the bright idea to take a 5 gallon pail of water and throw it at the dragon, soaking everything in the kitchen.  My mom was not happy and there were no more plays inside anymore.  But I kept writing them.

I didn’t realize that I could write until 10th grade when our English teacher had us keep a journal which he read every night and marked or made comments.  One day he gave us starter lines for creative writing and one of them was the one I picked “As the clock ticked…”  Suddenly I had an incredible idea of the last seconds of a person’s life ticking away; someone on death row about to die for killing her husband.  I wrote pages and pages in the 20 minutes we were allowed to write.  When I handed it in I had such a thrill of excitement knowing that someone was going to read it and give me an honest opinion.  I knew it was good.

It was.  The teacher wrote several lines of positive comments and gave me an A+.  He also encouraged me to write more and try to find that burst of imagination and creativity more often.  He also told me that was one of the reasons for the journal.  Practicing my writing would only give me more of a voice and, by golly, it sure has.

I saw my niece last night and found out she’s been following my blog.  I always feel kind of weird when I find out someone I know reads all about what’s in my head and then that goes away almost right away.  I’m writing for me and for anyone who wants to read it.  She wants me to keep writing and that’s my intention.  It was great to  have feedback from her and I feel encouraged to keep up my once-a-week posts here.

One of these days I hope to make a living at this.  Wouldn’t that be something?  I want to take more creative writing courses and maybe get a novel out of this old noggin of mine.  That has always been my dream.

Kill The Demons (or just find a way to shut them up)

On January 13, 2014 and a Monday to boot, I faced a demon I’ve had in my dreams and my life for over 5 years.

This was a spontaneous decision to go to this place on this day although I had wanted to do it for a long time.  I faced the outside of the door, more than a little apprehensive on what my reception would be.  Unannounced, with no appointment but a steeliness in my heart, my hand reached out and opened the door.  My feet crossed the threshold.

I was back in the building where I spent 15 years of my life, giving it my all and then, when I left, felt like a failure.  The first thing I noticed was the silence.  This place was always full of noise when I worked there.  The next thing I noticed was a face peering at me from the front desk; older and maybe even wiser.  It took a minute for him to register who I was.  He jumped and said my name with a bit of a shout, and had big smiles for me.  I barely remembered what we talked about. We giggled a lot.

This wasn’t what I came here to do.

I asked the lovely receptionist (who was my work-husband on and off for 20 years) to see if the Executive Director was in and would he see me.  As he made the phone call, I started to notice other things.

spirit1There were ghosts.  Everywhere.  I knew that the clients I’ve known here, loved and stuck my neck out for were mostly gone now.  Their presence was obvious, though, almost like a breeze in some cases (Hi Marie, it sure is great to see you!) to waves crashing from an ocean to a shore; strong, really loud and hard to ignore (Well, looky you! WELL THERE YOU ARE!!  I knew you would come back.  Why did you leave?  Why. Did. You. Leave. Us?)

I wasn’t sure this was a good idea anymore.  What was I expecting?  It’s been a very long time since my sudden departure.  I waited at the front and saw a former staff member, one of my favourites.  I shouted her name and she turned around peering at me too.  The smile on her face was huge, the hug she gave me was huge and my heart was huge just seeing her again.  We only had a moment to chat before the E.D. came out.

His face was all lit up, grinning from ear to ear, obviously glad to see me.  I was so  happy to see that grin.  At least he didn’t have a lawyer with him. 🙂 We made our way to his office, ghosts still clamouring for my attention.

Some of the ghosts?  There was “Bill” who came to see me everyday no matter what.  Actually there were a lot of “Bills'”. And “Tim” who nobody seemed to like and he beauty of naturescared them because he was a bit crazy but I could see who he was back then, a frightened, rejected man for most of his life.  He would visit and I tried to get him to be a bit more sociable.  Sometimes it worked and lots of times it didn’t.

All through the halls, they spoke to me.

We arrived at the E.D.’s office and I sat in the familiar seat.  He was very animated and very glad to see me which he told me over and over.  I was feeling a lump in my throat.  I had to get the words out.

I explained I was here because I needed to say something about when I left so many years ago.  I wanted him to know how bad I felt about what I put him and the staff through, especially the last 6 months I was there.  I realize now how ill I had been and that there was no choice but to leave.  I didn’t hold anything against him or the organization.  It was a huge part of my life and who I was.  Unfortunately it was too huge to bear.  I couldn’t save everyone.

I also told him how much better I felt mentally.  My life is still a bit off-balance but I am now progressing rather than going backwards or stagnant.  I also told him how often I dreamt of this place (almost every night).  He wanted to know if it was good or bad dreams and I admitted to both, mostly bad.

He was so shocked that I, or anyone for that matter, would come in and say these things.  He also said that an apology was never needed nor did he ever harbour bad feelings towards me.  He could see my strength and I could feel it too.  He thought I was brave!  HA!

He explained how it had been for him and the rest of the staff:

He told me I had been such a fixture there, the staff and clients all felt a strong connection to me and could see me struggling every day.  It was awful for all to watch and he had no idea how to explain to me what was going on and what they were seeing.  Me, who could not see anything at all wrong with the way things were and it seemed pretty hopeless to get me to understand that things were not right.  He ended up putting my health first and making me go on disability.

He didn’t know what a nightmare it was for me after I left.

Now, watching his face and laughing with him and listening to the funny voices he still did that always made me laugh so much, I knew that this part of my life has some closure.

He escorted me to the clinic where I found some more long-lost staff and we reunionhugged and told stories.  Most of the staff I knew were no longer working there but, to the people who still did, I showed off pictures of my granddaughter, my dad and my kids.  They were all so amazed at my Carly and how beautiful and grown up she has become.  I was treated like much-loved and sorely missed royalty.  They were eager to hear about what’s going on in my life and what’s in store for me next.  I felt so…special.

slamming doorFinally it was time for me to go.  Off to the lawyer to slam a door on another part of my life that has been up in the air too long.

The ghosts were following me to the door, waving goodbye.

I stood outside those front doors for a minute wondering if they would follow me.  They stayed on the other side.  But they will have a better, less guilty place in my heart.


Switching Bottles

Well, my friend Jam is back in town, and ready to party.  The last time I partied with her was here and that was a time I will never forget.  I did write it all down so that helps with the not-forgetting part.  Which is why I’m doing it this time too.  Its great catching up with old friends.

Of course some things never change.  For one thing, just like last time, we were having a snow storm and I was trudging up the street with snow that, in some wineplaces, was up to my knees .  I had a half a bottle of my son’s homemade wine in an insulated water bottle and some 7-up to tame it just a bit.  It is a tad wicked.  No stuffed mushrooms though, just a box of Crunch and Munch this time.

I put on makeup before I left, although I don’t know why.  I guess because I haven’t had a picture taken of me in months, not even at selfie jan 2014Christmas, which is fine by me, let me tell ya.  Tonight, though, there are lots of pictures of me that should just be burned.  I can laugh at them though as long as I don’t acknowledge it’s me in the pictures.  Ha.   I did take one selfie that was pretty good.  I was going for a one-chin look and think I did it.  I did have to reach up quite far with the camera to get the effect I wanted. What do you think?  I’m dreading when Jan gets back home and will upload a whole bunch on Facebook.

So I made it to the door and didn’t fall in a snow bank.  There they were, the girls from the block and Sue(p).  God I love them.  We had snacks, drank some wine and remembered the great times we had.  We also realized that things aren’t like they used to be.  We are all so laid back (old) although it could be because of the cold it really limits what one can do.  We weren’t about to get on a bus and go to a restaurant and spend lots of money on food and booze then hop on another bus and yell things at Shelly with the sole purpose of embarrassing her (“Shelly has a boooyfriieeennd!!!”) while on our way to the casino.  Shelly was so easily embarrassed back then, now she just gives it right back at us AND she says really bad words more often.  That’s fun too but not nearly.  Watching and hearing her apologize profusely to whoever she had to sit with on that bus would make everything just get out of control.

Life was so different then.

Memories of a stinky cab ride

Memories of a stinky cab ride

So what did we do?  I laughed so hard the back of my skull hurt so bad I had to make myself stop.  I swear I was having a stroke or my brain was just trying to leak out the back way.  We started posing for pictures but without our Sue as she left a little early.  She did drink a lot of wine before I got there.

Invaded by the teens.

Invaded by the teens.

Shelly and Jan’s kids were there as well as some miscellaneous others that Shelly seems to adopt.  Mine stayed home. They were mostly pushing cars out of the snow outside the house.  A lot of snow and you’d think people would know better.  These kids were so loud I couldn’t believe it but what great human beings.  Shelly would screech their names, demanding they come upstairs and help the neighbours get out of the driveway AGAIN and up they would come.  Except the girls.  They put on fashion shows for us and made us ache for our youth.

My place is so quiet.

That feeling of friendship, which I felt was missing from my life for so long, was as if it never left my heart.  How easy it is to relate to these women, and to laugh and tell stories.

The best story?  Sue was woken up one night by a stranger, who was obviously drunk and in her room looking for “Jordan”.  She kept asking him what the hell he was doing there.  She got out of bed, was in her nightgown (thank goodness) and followed him out to her kitchen.  (Who are you??) There she noticed he had (Who the hell is Jordan???) helped himself to some snacks and tried to open her Crown Royal bottle (which is so stuck but I bet I could open it).  All the while he kept asking her where Jordan was. (How did you get in here??)  He finally realized that he was in the wrong house (Sue has no idea how he got in there or who he was or who the heck was Jordan) and was going to leave.  He was heading for the door and Sue was worried that he didn’t have a jacket but he left anyway.  She found the jacket (he had set up a nice little bed on her couch). She called 911 and told them about the guy  (that poor, poor man is out there without his jacket.  I’m so WORRIED!) and how worried she was about him and could they please come by to get his jacket so he doesn’t freeze to death.  NOTHING about the break and enter.  Our Sue was just worried about the hoodlum’s welfare.  We were all imagining if it were us and we would not be so calm.  I would have been beating the guy over the head and chasing him from my place, screaming at him to get out.  Jan figured she would have stood there and screamed and panicked too.

Legs up and duck face for Shelly.  OMG we are so HOT

Legs up and duck face for Shelly. OMG we are so HOT

We talked about and remembered some recent firefighter stories,  the crazy diet stories, the backyard fire pit stories, some ex-husband stories (mostly good ones that were hilarious and not bashing them too much), the time when Shelly’s cat wasn’t as, umm, fluffy as she is now.  Hell, we were less fluffy back then too. The times when Shelly and Jan would be on the bus with their kids, someone always seemed to scream at them that they were lesbians.   Which led to some dating stories and questions.  Lots and lots of questions.  But not about lesbians.

It was a good way to reconnect with them.  They are my friends.  They were never gone.  I plan on keeping it up but when the weather gets warmer.  I’ll have 2 grandbabies by then and will be wanting to go show off visiting.  I hope Jan will be able to come back again soon.

Now I have to go to Urban Dictionary and look up what my name means.  Sue’s started off nice but ended up with nasty words.

I’m going to try to post every week again.  That’s my goal so hopefully I’ll see you next week!

Days of the Dum Dums

I’ve had a bad case of brain farts, senior moments and the dum-dums for the last couple days.  I think I should just stay inside but that would defeat the promise I made to myself to go out every day.

I went out yesterday, took the bus because I was feeling pretty closed in.  I’ve been sleeping a lot again which is not good.  So off I went to do some banking and then sat in a McDonald’s and had a burger and drink while I surfed on my phone.  I took my time but all the while I felt so foggy and not-quite there.  A nice man seated himself where I could see him and smiled at me friendly like but didn’t say a word.  Well, he looked nice to me.  I’ve been a little lonesome lately.

I checked the bus schedule and found I had plenty of time to get my next ride.  I went outside to wait and realized I was missing something.  No!  My phone.  It wasn’t in my purse.  I looked 3 times.  It wasn’t in my pants pockets either.  Oh no.  Did I really…?  Could I have….?

It might have still been on the tray.  I think I threw it in the garbage.

Panicked, I went back to the McD’s and quickly started looking through the very top of the garbage I dumped mine in.  Noooo.  I was almost wailing!  The friendly man was looking at me like I was nuts (technically…yeah) (and why I keep looking at him I have no idea) and another man who came in just before me was keeping his distance but watching me carefully.  I just knew that one of the two people in the place would either throw a huge pile of garbage on top of my phone or just reach in and  pluck out my phone and run away with it.  I rushed to the counter and tried to explain to the counter person what was happening but she didn’t understand me.  I asked for the manager and he took his time until he saw the panic on my face.  I explained as I ran back to the garbage can.  He yelled at me not to touch the can.

Bedlam.  It was bedlam.

He had the gloves so he started digging.  After a while he lifted the clear bag out of the can so we can look through the sides.  No.  Nothing.  The kindly gentleman customer was wanting to help but wouldn’t get down and dirty.  He did, however, look through the clear plastic and truly looked sad for me.  Then the other customer had a brilliant idea.

Why doesn’t he just call my phone?

Good idea.  Now I have to give my number to a stranger.  Well, I did it and we all waited.

We all heard the phone ring.  Not in my purse.  It didn’t sound like it was in the bag.  The manager said maybe at the table where I was sitting.  It could have fallen on the floor.  I rushed over there.

Good thing I was first.

I felt a weight in my jacket hit me in the ribs as I bent over to look under the table.

It was the freaking phone in my pocket.  doh-homer-simpson-air-freshener

I quickly pulled it out of that damn pocket (doh! doh! doh!) and pretended like I found it under the table.  “I found it!” I yelled triumphantly, holding it up.  Everyone clapped and cheered and I was so red.   I took time to wash the garbage off my hands and ran out of there, yelling my thank-you’s to all, just in time for the bus.

Today I managed to buy eggs and other groceries.  I dropped the eggs twice.  I haven’t looked in the carton yet.  I don’t want to talk about it.

Nor do I want to talk about the bra I bought for $2  through an auction either.

Maybe I should stay home tomorrow.


makeupI had to go grocery shopping and this time I was going to look fabulous.  This meant I would have to do something I haven’t done in years: wear clothes that did not consist of sweatshirts or sweatpants and I would wear make up.

My plan about the makeup may seem kind of ridiculous to some of you and it’s really not.  I wore it all the time before I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and when I still didn’t have any obvious symptoms. I was doing a job I loved, I had friends and my family was intact and thriving.  My weight was manageable.  It was a time of confidence and contentment.  I didn’t wear very much and certainly didn’t need very much either.

Makeup was a simple thing for me back then.  I sorta felt pretty when I wore it.  One day, 10 years ago,  I just stopped.  I really didn’t need to enhance my looks, I said to myself.  I read about it all the time that woman put too much emphasis on how they look.  Really though, I just didn’t care how I looked anymore .

Today, I wanted to go to the store and look like a million bucks.   That’s it.  I didn’t want to pick up men or get attention.  I wanted to see how it felt to look better. I wanted to use this exercise as a way to love myself again.

It’s never easy though, is it?

First I raided my daughter’s makeup bag.  I think she hides the good stuff because all I found was crap.  Some of it was MY old crap.  I found a mascara that sorta had some life to it.  As I went to put it on I realized my eyelids now droop so much I no longer have a crease.  This would eliminate the need for eyeshadow then.

I found a brand new eyeliner and happily outlined my droopy lids until my eyes looked smokey and sexy.  I thought so anyway.

I looked for blush.  The girl never heard of it.


No foundation either.


Now the lips.  I’ve agonized about this because I tried some of my old lipsticks and they were horrible.  My skin tone is different I guess.  Digging in the kid’s makeup bag I found a lipstick and promptly tried it on then immediately wiped it off.  Yuck.  I saw a lip gloss in there.   I haven’t worn lip gloss since high school.  Lip-StainI tried it anyway and wow.  It was magnificent and not a gloss at all but a “stain”.

My daughter was rather confused when I asked her what a good mascara was to buy.  Of course she thought I wanted to buy HER some mascara.  For the rest of the day she would look at me and shake her head and wonder aloud why all of a sudden her mom wanted to wear make up.  She was very helpful though in picking out what I should use and said I could have her lip stain.

To finish getting ready for the store, I dressed in my very good new jeans and a fancy shirt. I’m not sure anyone would notice these because it was -32C with the windchill and I was bundled up in my ugly parka and salt-stained boots.

So I did the shopping and didn’t notice if anyone noticed me except for the 2 guys who helped me along the way.  The first one rescued my toilet paper that took a header out of my cart and was quite pleasant to me as he tucked it back in there.  I smiled at him with my stained mouth in gratitude.  The other guy prevented me from having a terrible accident when I was trying to climb the shelves to get to an item at the top.  It was my daughter’s favourite drink and this man saw what I was trying to do and simply plucked the can from the shelf and handed it to me.  Since he was very tall, I batted my elongated eyelashes at him (even though he was about 30; just a baby).  He scolded me good-naturedly and then his wife came, took his hand and led him silently away.

She may have been jealous of my eyes and she was wearing sweats.

The cashier was concerned that I would hurt myself pushing the cart to my borrowed car in the lot.  She asked me 4 times if I was sure I didn’t need help out.


I seem to have lost focus.

I don’t know if I felt pretty or better.  I did feel comfort with the ritual of putting makeup on and smokeyfussing to make it look right.  I was amazed the few times I caught my reflection and saw how my eyes looked.

It was good to give myself some positive attention for a change.

At the end of the day, my baby granddaughter didn’t notice anything.  Not even that my smokey eyes were now more racoon-like.  All she cared about was chewing on my finger.  Poor teething baby.

I have to remember I should not be rubbing my eyes or raking my hands down my face.

I’m going to wear makeup tomorrow when I go see Dr. G.  Hopefully he won’t decide I need more meds.

Mambo Dating #5

I apologize for the delay in this post.  I was wrestling with old and new demons and have won once again.  Well, I’m getting there.  I need some new ammunition I think.

Well, the saga of my online dating experiences went on.  I think I may have run out of bad guys though so I’ll change it up a bit.  Some good and many bad men have become a part of my history, whether I wanted them to or not.  So like the Mambo #5 song I had various men make an appearance in my life, most very briefly.  I learned from all of them.

One of the things I like about having access to men’s profiles on my selected dating site is the game I’ve had to play to try to read into what they are really talking about.  This isn’t easy in most cases.  The majority of the men I talked about in my last 4 installments had profiles that made them seem like anybody’s dream guy or was so neutral I only found out how bad they were when it was almost too late.

That means, they lie.  Not all do but the many I encountered did.

I wish to give you a few examples and you try to guess the dreamboat I encountered.  All spelling and grammar is included.  Just click on the names and go back to the original post so you can recall their utter charm. I deleted specific mention of places that may identify them.

Example number one:

I am a well balanced man who lives life to the fullest. i enjoy dancing, travel, music, reading, live theatre and much more. my goal/aspirations is to find a woman who is stable who has dealt with past issues/relationships and ready to move forward toward a meaningful relationship. i take pride in myself as a healthy individual without being self absorbed. i am flexable, kind, opened minded, keep up with current affairs and trends. i have no time for negative energy

First Date
i would like to go to a fine outside cafe for lunch and chat to get to know each other. if things clicked, arrangements would be made to meet again to do anything that we’d both feel comfortable doing, spontaneity is cool.

Multiple choice:  a) Pretty Pornographer     b) Bobby or    c) Maxwell


…The women for me needs a sense of humor. I’m a easy going, jovial guy that likes the simple things in life. You know KISS. That’s me, not flashy just plain me. I like people, so it’s very easy for me to make friends. That’s what I’m looking for in a mate. I’m looking for that women that I can connect with.(Maybe need fish finder?)  I’ve never been married, so I don’t have any children. I own a house in — , that I like to keep clean. I like all kinds of sports, however I don’t play too many any more. Golf, Baseball, and working out once in awhile. I like the beach, especially on a real hot calm summer day. Mmmmmmm – frisbee too…

a)  Bobby  b) Creepy 400 lb Stuffie Talker or c) Dreamy Bald Guy

Okay, one more  #3:

I like being active, I really try to pay it forward all the time. I like down to earth people not those who try to impress the heck out of you with all of their accomplishments. I like a healthier type of lifestyle but I am far from obsessed. I do go to the gym lots but right now it is my stress relief and my social network of like minded people. I want to be a good friend first (chemistry) then all the other good stuff will follow i am sure. My answer to that would be ………..fill in your own blank. I like music,kisses,hugs,lots of smiles,dogs and cats, like slimmer people athletic types just people better sized for me. I really like people who can spell at least reasonably well and who have some command of grammar. Typos happen I get that.

First Date
You lead I’ll follow if it sounds good.

a) Bobby  b) Dreamy Bald Guy  or c) Maxwell


1)Bobby   2) Creepy 400 lb Stuffie Talker 3) Dreamy Bald Guy

Those are just a few I had to figure out.

I will end this series with this lovely quote from another dreamy bald guy.  He very kindly gave me his permission to use it.

We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever…… But love isn’t like that… It’s a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don’t fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable; But don’t be surprised when it leaves either, Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.

We’ve all had that feeling, and its come and gone again, that’s why most of us are here, to try and capture that feeling again, and it is wonderful isn’t it? So if the fates are with us, we will find that person and experience it again, and perhaps, just perhaps it will last forever this time…….here’s hoping.

Oh yeah, I met someone.  He’s pretty dreamy. 🙂

bad but funny dating

I promised I would try to have some nicer, “feel good” kind of dating stories.  I ran out of in-person dates because I’ve spent lots of time flushing them out and there wasn’t many men worth meeting.  I had also promised myself I would be making the first move more often which is really out of my comfort zone.

How the heck do I do that?

I tried a few things like emailing one guy, telling him what a great smile I thought he had.  He didn’t bother answering me back.  One guy said he didn’t like fat chicks and yet another said all my picture showed him was one watery eye and no tits and ass.  So he could care less unless I could meet him at his car in an hour.

This wasn’t working so well.

The Calm Before the Storm of the Bald and Beautiful

The dating site has this chemistry test and matches you up with men who the computer feels you would be attracted to and vice versa.  I kept seeing this very good-looking, athletic-type guy on the site and never really gave him a thought because, well,  he was athletic and bald and very good-looking.

One day, he appeared at the top of my chemistry list.  The number one spot.  I thought I should really let him know just in case he had no idea that the dating site of all dating sites deemed us to be chemically matched.  Not imbalanced at all.  So I emailed him.

Not him but sorta close

You are the number one person on my “chemistry results”.  Just thought I’d let you know.

Smooth, eh?

He wrote back right away, seemingly polite and laughing at my joke.

lol Thanks for that

Not needing too much encouragement, I followed with the winning line:

Me:  No problem..Really you’re like .2543 or something.  Very high.

Him: wow Coolness lol

Me:  K, I’ll leave you to get on with your life as it is now complete.

Him:that’s it ?? no more??

(later) Me: I’m so sorry, I’ve made a terrible mistake.  It’s .23702.  But still the number one position.
🙂 Marie

Him:  Why thanks Marie
said (Vin Diesel)thats me lol chat later grocery shopping beckons

Just to be clear,  I changed his name to Vin Diesel as Vin Diesel is not his real name.  This went on back and forth for a week or more.

Slowly we built up a friendship, with the anticipation of a first meeting soon.  I really didn’t believe it; if you could have seen this guy!  I knew I would never meet or be with a guy like this, no matter what he was telling me. His life had been filled with slim women with jobs and careers not a pudgy on pogey. Besides, I could never keep up to him.

It didn’t matter to me as it was so much fun and not to mention a real boost to my much bruised ego.  He was never inappropriate, just a flirt. We finally moved from emails to chatting. It was obvious from my screen that he was waiting for me each evening. Hours and hours and pages and pages of emails and chatting.  We eventually exchanged private email addresses and set up msn messenger.  This is usually the last step before meeting someone.

I haven’t gotten that far very often.  Umm, once.  See the first installment here for that particular story.

Then that’s the night it went to hell.

How?  Well there I was in the living room of my home on the computer with this guy and waiting for his msn to load.  I was so happy!

Then my son plunked his 26-year-old self beside me and started reading some of what we were typing.  He asked me about the guy I was talking to and what did I know about him. I actually knew lots about him; name, work location, etc.

He asked me where he worked.  I told him.

Jay’s mouth went into a thin line.

He asked me what he did there.  Again, I told him.

His eyes narrowed so much I thought his eyelashes would poke out his eyeballs.

Then, my sweet boy went nuts.

Jay is not one to be soft-spoken or diplomatic.  His yelling at me brought out my daughter, wondering what was wrong.  Turns out that my Bald God worked at the same place where my son’s dad works part-time and its also the school where my daughter was fairly sure she was going to take a course next year.  So there they were; yelling at me in stereo, and my sexy, bald man typing away frantically to find out what was going on.  I finally, among shrieks from my offspring, told him the story.

He wanted to know who my son’s dad is.  Despite my kid and his bellowing at me not to tell him, I told him who it was and how we’ve been divorced for 25 years.  His only reply was not to worry and he wouldn’t say a word.  I apologized over and over and let him go so I could do damage control.

I moved my computer to my room that night.

Later that evening I tried once to talk to him.  No answer.  Same with the next night. He ignored me.

Of course I don’t want to look pathetic so I’ve left him alone.  But what a charge it was to have a man like that interested in me for longer than 5 minutes.

So that’s a better story right?  I can’t imagine it ending any other way.

What do you think shoulda/coulda happened?