May was the most interesting month I’ve had for what seems like forever!
A new medication for sleeping has done wonders for me. Instead of needing and getting 12 to 14 hours of sleep almost every day, I now get up after only 7 hours and feel pretty perky. All my other meds are the same and seem to be working really well for the most part. I think the weather helps too. I’m not isolating myself so much as I was a few short weeks ago. I love my yard; the sun sucks all the dreary winter from my body and brings the summer into my soul.
We found a cute baby kitty that we were going to adopt and kept him in the house with us for a few days until we could get him to the Humane Society to have him checked out and neutered. He got out just before one of the most weirdest storms I’ve ever been through happened. Snow with lightning and high damaging winds. Then he never came back. I still grieve for him. He was so lovable and sweet.
The end of May marked the first anniversary of the death of my dad. I still have the image of him taking his last breath as my sister and I clutched his hands, crying, and telling him to go. It was okay to go. I should have left right away so I wouldn’t have had to see his empty, thin body lying there. I can’t forget it. I still remember my mom as she looked after her death too. I dream of them so much. His birthday was 2 days after his death as well. It was hard this year as I’m sure it will be every year. It’s funny when I dream of my dad because, in my dreams, apparently his death was all a big mistake and he isn’t really dead and is still alive.
What makes it better, though, is in between the anniversary of my dad’s death and his birthday my youngest granddaughter had her first birthday. I remember the joy I felt when she was born in spite of the sad, dark time of a year ago. This year was no different, really. She is cute as can be and I love both of my grandgirls to bits. Such bright and wonderful children who give me so much joy.
My daughter turned 18 in March and is almost 30. Yeah. But she’s really doing great. Doing fantastic in school, winning 2 awards and made the honour roll! So proud of that girl.
I also met a man. I decided to give up on the “bad boys” after reading several articles written by nice men who never seem to get a chance. I also read some blog posts and comments from them where women have been stuck with the bad boys just like I was. And they just didn’t get it either. So…I’m giving one a chance. It’s only been a few weeks but holy moly…wow. He treats me like a queen, takes me for dinners, lunches and breakfasts. He lent me his truck for 4 days (which my kids thought was really weird).
I have had to stop him from spending so much money on me. If he had his way he would lavish me with gifts. He wants to find me a car. He wants to buy me clothes. I said no. I keep saying no. He really wants me to be happy and expects a commitment in the future. THAT I’ve never heard before. It’s been all disconcerting as I have not met anyone like him. He loves how I look. He’s beyond eager to meet my kids. He wants to be with me all the time and I had to tell him I needed space to breathe and learn about myself in this new role. It was a battle at first, only because of his own insecurities I think. I notice he really doesn’t have that many of those so far. He lives out-of-town on a beautiful 4 acre lot with an apple orchard and all the toys near a beautiful lake. I’ve stayed there a few times and love the privacy, the birds and the sun on beautiful days.
I had a surprise graduation party for my son, his wife and my daughter on Sunday because they are all graduating. My son got his GED back in the fall, my daughter-in-law went to night school to finish her high school and, of course, my daughter graduates high school in June. My fella paid for all the food and drove me around everywhere to find supplies and presents. He wanted to come to the party to do the cooking but I held him off as we had only been together for such a short time. I just felt it was too soon.
He smiles all the time. And that’s important to me. We like and love so many of the same things and every time we discover something new it’s such a surprise. He wants to make sure I’m not stuck inside and plans outings all the time. He missed me yesterday and drove the hour drive and showed up at 4 in the afternoon with Chinese food for supper.
To think I was fighting this. Neither of us could really understand my reasoning. I do though, of course. All those failed relationships, all the heartache and all the work invested and lessons learned. He doesn’t want me to lump him into the same category as those guys. He’s assured me he’s different. I’m starting to believe it. His health isn’t very good at this time but we both hope for improvements.
I have high hopes for this wonderful man. If it doesn’t work out at least I know there are nice men out there.
So bring on June. Graduations, beaches, long drives and love. Bring it on.