The search continues in my life for many things. One of them is for love. I keep thinking there has to be a guy out there for me somewhere. I know I don’t need a man to make me feel good about myself or make my life complete or any of the other things my friends and family keep trying to pound into my head and I totally agree. Not having a man in my life is NOT causing me great anxiety. Just so my readers know that.
I like men. That’s it. I like the company of a (good) man. I like doing things with a (good) man. I don’t mind going alone to places and I do. I also go out with some women friends and that’s nice too. Male company would be great though. I’ve had enough of just me.
I joined a different dating site this past week and was inundated with messages the first day. Great! The problem was I couldn’t read any because the site wanted me to pay them to read the messages! What was the point of having a “free” site? I don’t know. I know I was on this site last year and it wasn’t like that then. So what I did was pick a couple of the guys and messaged them back telling them of my dilemma and to email me at an email address I made just for this purpose. Only one responded and we had a great back and forth email conversation for the last 2 days. He said he’s been on the site for a while and has never had to pay a dime.
It’s a ridiculous way to get to know someone but, for someone my age, there aren’t many options. Some of my family and my married, well-meaning friends and acquaintances suggest “meet someone at the grocery store” or “borrow a dog and go to the dog park” and my daughter says “Well. you don’t go anywhere!”. Well, the men I meet at grocery stores are in there to quickly get their pork and beans and bacon to go with their beer and as for borrowing a dog, that would mean picking up their poo. No thanks to the poo especially.
I had supper with a friend tonight who told me I was a beautiful person. I believe that. I know guys are looking for Barbie dolls and I have never been, nor will I ever be one. I forget sometimes that I’m a beautiful person. My outside is a bit worn and chubby, but I continue to grow inside and I can feel that every day. I’m stronger and more able to handle stress in my life than ever before. I would love to share that with someone who appreciates it and would be proud to be with me. Hopefully around a bonfire, or on the beach or on a couch watching movies.
So who knows what will happen. I’m not in any rush and know whatever or whoever will happen will happen. Or not. In the meantime, I’ll keep my eyes open in Aisle 4.