I’m sitting here during another astounding hot flash of epic proportions thinking nothing could ever beat the last one. I keep getting fooled by my own body insisting on betraying me every day and anywhere. Oh my god, even the inside of my ears are “glowing” this time.
I’ve been pretty good at not getting caught during one of these tropical-hikes-up- a-smoldering-volcano as I rarely leave the apartment. On Monday at my volunteer job I thought I was going to make it through without one. The end of my shift arrived and the volunteer manager wanted to chat. Part way through the conversation I could feel the tell-tale signs; the slow building of heat filling first my face and hair then, before it could get any worse, I excused myself to escape to what I hoped was the cooler hospital hallway. What a sight I must have been…ripping off my vest which announces my volunteer status and holding back on ripping anything else off although I did unbutton the first 2 buttons of my blouse. Sweat was dripping from my face, my nose and my hair when the volunteer manager came out to the hallway to tell me something else I needed to know. She took one look at me frantically fanning my face with my hands (uselessly I might add) and I apologized for my body’s betrayal (she’s young yet, she’s going to get hers soon enough) and tried to listen although I could feel the creeping of moisture on my arms and legs. The back of my blouse became quite damp. She looked away in embarrassment and I believe she was somewhat frightened. My face was so hot. Unbelievable.
I wish I could explain this phenomenon to someone who never had one. Maybe if you ever blushed you would get a sense of it. Heat rising up from your chest to your face and neck, heartbeat speeding up. But it’s more than that. MORE I say! MORE moisture. MORE heat. MORE madness. MORE of just waiting for it to be over.
I really thought it was getting better. I figured just a few short weeks ago what a piece of cake this menopause thing and hot flashes are turning out to be. I’ve been going though menopause for the last year and was pre-menopausal for at least 2 years before that. So hot flashes are not unfamiliar to me. I thought they were getting less and less. HA! Just more intense now and more often. I’m opening and closing the windows more and more (thank goodness it warmed up enough outside so I can finally get them open!) and I have a fan on me all night. That will do just fine.
I sure could have done without that first appearance of a hot flash though. It probably won’t be the last.
The things I get to look forward too. Blech.