Days of the Dum Dums

I’ve had a bad case of brain farts, senior moments and the dum-dums for the last couple days.  I think I should just stay inside but that would defeat the promise I made to myself to go out every day.

I went out yesterday, took the bus because I was feeling pretty closed in.  I’ve been sleeping a lot again which is not good.  So off I went to do some banking and then sat in a McDonald’s and had a burger and drink while I surfed on my phone.  I took my time but all the while I felt so foggy and not-quite there.  A nice man seated himself where I could see him and smiled at me friendly like but didn’t say a word.  Well, he looked nice to me.  I’ve been a little lonesome lately.

I checked the bus schedule and found I had plenty of time to get my next ride.  I went outside to wait and realized I was missing something.  No!  My phone.  It wasn’t in my purse.  I looked 3 times.  It wasn’t in my pants pockets either.  Oh no.  Did I really…?  Could I have….?

It might have still been on the tray.  I think I threw it in the garbage.

Panicked, I went back to the McD’s and quickly started looking through the very top of the garbage I dumped mine in.  Noooo.  I was almost wailing!  The friendly man was looking at me like I was nuts (technically…yeah) (and why I keep looking at him I have no idea) and another man who came in just before me was keeping his distance but watching me carefully.  I just knew that one of the two people in the place would either throw a huge pile of garbage on top of my phone or just reach in and  pluck out my phone and run away with it.  I rushed to the counter and tried to explain to the counter person what was happening but she didn’t understand me.  I asked for the manager and he took his time until he saw the panic on my face.  I explained as I ran back to the garbage can.  He yelled at me not to touch the can.

Bedlam.  It was bedlam.

He had the gloves so he started digging.  After a while he lifted the clear bag out of the can so we can look through the sides.  No.  Nothing.  The kindly gentleman customer was wanting to help but wouldn’t get down and dirty.  He did, however, look through the clear plastic and truly looked sad for me.  Then the other customer had a brilliant idea.

Why doesn’t he just call my phone?

Good idea.  Now I have to give my number to a stranger.  Well, I did it and we all waited.

We all heard the phone ring.  Not in my purse.  It didn’t sound like it was in the bag.  The manager said maybe at the table where I was sitting.  It could have fallen on the floor.  I rushed over there.

Good thing I was first.

I felt a weight in my jacket hit me in the ribs as I bent over to look under the table.

It was the freaking phone in my pocket.  doh-homer-simpson-air-freshener

I quickly pulled it out of that damn pocket (doh! doh! doh!) and pretended like I found it under the table.  “I found it!” I yelled triumphantly, holding it up.  Everyone clapped and cheered and I was so red.   I took time to wash the garbage off my hands and ran out of there, yelling my thank-you’s to all, just in time for the bus.

Today I managed to buy eggs and other groceries.  I dropped the eggs twice.  I haven’t looked in the carton yet.  I don’t want to talk about it.

Nor do I want to talk about the bra I bought for $2  through an auction either.

Maybe I should stay home tomorrow.


2 responses to “Days of the Dum Dums

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