I woke up Saturday morning to the cooing of a delightful grandbaby and a message on my Facebook…
I was amazed to get this wonderful affirmation. Lisa and I have seen each other maybe twice in the last 20 years. We live far apart and our lives are so different.
Lisa followed with more words that soothed my soul and set something free inside..
Thank you for those words and letting me know your feelings. I don’t know how things get to be the way they are or where they started but they always seem to show me that everything happens for a reason. I’m tired, Lee. I’m getting too old to keep starting over and over, again and again. I know I will keep it up because that’s what I do I guess. Same as my mom and my gramma. They walk with me every day and give me the strength to get on with some simple things. My only regret in this life is how I feel my children were ripped off having a mom. I take heart in knowing that every day I can start again, try a different path and nothing has to be too late for me or for them.
I love that, “the next ten years will be the best in my life”. My mantra has been changing. I’ve been telling myself I believe the opposite of the negative feelings and so far I’ve been doing better. My son had told me that little trick long ago and its been recently I’ve been putting it into practice. Sometimes, though, I get kabonged over the head again of my numerous shortcomings. Good friends and new meds seem to be doing what they’re supposed to do so there is hope for me to work again. I have no idea what work I can or will do; I just know its out there.
PS: Please excuse my snipping. It was my first time and the girl just chortled when I asked her what to do and then did stuff so fast there was no time for my brain to fathom what the heck was going on. So the FB inserts are in pieces and are sort of intentional by accident. ~M~