bad but funny dating


I promised I would try to have some nicer, “feel good” kind of dating stories.  I ran out of in-person dates because I’ve spent lots of time flushing them out and there wasn’t many men worth meeting.  I had also promised myself I would be making the first move more often which is really out of my comfort zone.

How the heck do I do that?

I tried a few things like emailing one guy, telling him what a great smile I thought he had.  He didn’t bother answering me back.  One guy said he didn’t like fat chicks and yet another said all my picture showed him was one watery eye and no tits and ass.  So he could care less unless I could meet him at his car in an hour.

This wasn’t working so well.

The Calm Before the Storm of the Bald and Beautiful

The dating site has this chemistry test and matches you up with men who the computer feels you would be attracted to and vice versa.  I kept seeing this very good-looking, athletic-type guy on the site and never really gave him a thought because, well,  he was athletic and bald and very good-looking.

One day, he appeared at the top of my chemistry list.  The number one spot.  I thought I should really let him know just in case he had no idea that the dating site of all dating sites deemed us to be chemically matched.  Not imbalanced at all.  So I emailed him.

Not him but sorta close

You are the number one person on my “chemistry results”.  Just thought I’d let you know.

Smooth, eh?

He wrote back right away, seemingly polite and laughing at my joke.

lol Thanks for that

Not needing too much encouragement, I followed with the winning line:

Me:  No problem..Really you’re like .2543 or something.  Very high.

Him: wow Coolness lol

Me:  K, I’ll leave you to get on with your life as it is now complete.

Him:that’s it ?? no more??

(later) Me: I’m so sorry, I’ve made a terrible mistake.  It’s .23702.  But still the number one position.
🙂 Marie

Him:  Why thanks Marie
said (Vin Diesel)thats me lol chat later grocery shopping beckons

Just to be clear,  I changed his name to Vin Diesel as Vin Diesel is not his real name.  This went on back and forth for a week or more.

Slowly we built up a friendship, with the anticipation of a first meeting soon.  I really didn’t believe it; if you could have seen this guy!  I knew I would never meet or be with a guy like this, no matter what he was telling me. His life had been filled with slim women with jobs and careers not a pudgy on pogey. Besides, I could never keep up to him.

It didn’t matter to me as it was so much fun and not to mention a real boost to my much bruised ego.  He was never inappropriate, just a flirt. We finally moved from emails to chatting. It was obvious from my screen that he was waiting for me each evening. Hours and hours and pages and pages of emails and chatting.  We eventually exchanged private email addresses and set up msn messenger.  This is usually the last step before meeting someone.

I haven’t gotten that far very often.  Umm, once.  See the first installment here for that particular story.

Then that’s the night it went to hell.

How?  Well there I was in the living room of my home on the computer with this guy and waiting for his msn to load.  I was so happy!

Then my son plunked his 26-year-old self beside me and started reading some of what we were typing.  He asked me about the guy I was talking to and what did I know about him. I actually knew lots about him; name, work location, etc.

He asked me where he worked.  I told him.

Jay’s mouth went into a thin line.

He asked me what he did there.  Again, I told him.

His eyes narrowed so much I thought his eyelashes would poke out his eyeballs.

Then, my sweet boy went nuts.

Jay is not one to be soft-spoken or diplomatic.  His yelling at me brought out my daughter, wondering what was wrong.  Turns out that my Bald God worked at the same place where my son’s dad works part-time and its also the school where my daughter was fairly sure she was going to take a course next year.  So there they were; yelling at me in stereo, and my sexy, bald man typing away frantically to find out what was going on.  I finally, among shrieks from my offspring, told him the story.

He wanted to know who my son’s dad is.  Despite my kid and his bellowing at me not to tell him, I told him who it was and how we’ve been divorced for 25 years.  His only reply was not to worry and he wouldn’t say a word.  I apologized over and over and let him go so I could do damage control.

I moved my computer to my room that night.

Later that evening I tried once to talk to him.  No answer.  Same with the next night. He ignored me.

Of course I don’t want to look pathetic so I’ve left him alone.  But what a charge it was to have a man like that interested in me for longer than 5 minutes.

So that’s a better story right?  I can’t imagine it ending any other way.

What do you think shoulda/coulda happened?

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4 responses to “bad but funny dating

  1. Marie, I think Jay ( and Carly) should have backed off and let the two of you get to know each other more. Jay would date or see someone if he liked them, even if you were not really liking them. Carly will do the same. Our kids need to realize we are adults and have a right to happiness other than what they are part of. They will grow up, move out, move on in their lives, and not really think twice about our lives. I am so sorry to hear it just ended before he really got to know you. But this was a better experience than the last one you wrote about. Love your friend, Sherri

    • Oh I totally agree with you Sherri! I was more than willing to try but the guy ran scared I guess. His loss and I learned a few more things. I’m getting tired of all this learning though. lol

  2. In all fairness to the kids, they did tell her not to reveal their father’s name.

    Internet dating sucks. I feel all your pain.

  3. Pingback: Mambo Dating #5 | MARIE's space

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