Who Are You?


It’s funny how many people I can be.  I’ve written about this before, I think.   I’m known, at least I know, I take on the personae of someone else.  If there is a situation where I ‘m confused about what my “proper” reaction should be, I resort to the capable, tried and true, traits of others.

I wish to remind readers I’m bipolar and not schizophrenic.  That’s pretty important to keep in mind right about now. I’ve also used the real names of the people you’re going to read about.  I hope I don’t get in trouble.

For example, when I need to be very assertive or borderline aggressive, “Mona” takes centre stage.  When Mona weaves her confidence and superior intelligence the job gets done.  Very organized and takes no crap from anyone. I liked that the best.  A marshmallow, though when it comes to love.  That was Mona.  And parts of me when I need it.  Forget the marshmallow part though.

I’ve missed Mona lately.  I haven’t seen the woman in the flesh for over 15 years but she stuck with me all this time.  Unfortunately, she’s been scarce in my life/brain the last few years and this is a time when I really need her.

Then there was Nanci.  Well, in real life Nanci and I ended a friendship but not before I stole a few key ingredients which made her so special.  People loved her so much and I was enormously jealous of that fact. I did tell her and we hugged and were friends for a long time. Even though she could be very cutting, she was also so charming.  She had a laugh that made everyone around her smile.  She was so much fun; Nanci was always in the fun car and I was not. I burn to be like that.   When I’m “on”, lots of times I channel Nanci. I stole some loyalty and “how to make friends” from her. She never seemed afraid of anything.  She has the most incredible eyes I have ever seen. She would see the world so differently than I.  She’s a large woman just like me, the difference being she could care less.  She’s beautiful and carries herself proudly.  I strive to use her uniqueness for my own gain.

I take on many traits of my younger sister.  Especially Colleen’s calmness when I need it and her unfailing strength.  Lately I’ve been calling on that strength more times a day than I can count.  Her gentleness with humanity, especially with children and animals has helped me gain the distinction of “being good with people”.  I’m able to see things in a different light just when I thought that light went out.

I do have to mention Corrie.  What did I steal from her?  Corrie is “fun”.  Corrie does “things”.  Corrie takes chances and took a big chance on love a few years ago.  It’s working for her.  I try to take chances too because Corrie helped me not to be afraid to try. Corrie taught me about friendship and love going together.  I hold on to that everyday.

So these are small parts of my “me”.  Things do get confusing because I don’t really know what part is really the “me” me.  You know?  I think we are all made up of people we work, socialize and live with because we’re influenced by them and we take the good and the bad from each other.

I always wonder who and what I’ll channel next.  I only hope it’s some good stuff, because, man, I need some good stuff right about now.

Peace and love.

Do you change who you are according to where you are or what situation you are in?

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14 responses to “Who Are You?

  1. I absolutely do, if mostly in small degrees. This is actually how I landed my long-time nickname, Deefy. I was discussing “code-shifting” with a good friend, who translated the phenomenon as being like each of us having multiple “dolls” of ourselves that we swap out in different scenarios. When I told him later in the conversation about a school nurse who’d once called me beefy, he exclaimed, “It’s Deefy, the beefy Debbie doll!” The name stuck, and I kinda love it.

    The title of this post really caught me, having done an interview where I was asked to tell a little about myself. It’s so hard to do that in an entire blog. Where do you start with a couple-hundred word window?!

    • I would never have thought to use something so charming as “dolls” to describe this. What a great idea! This opens up a whole new thought process for me. I always thought of dolls as being flexible, charming and collectible. Hmm. I see a pattern here…

      True about describing oneself in a few sentences. I always lean toward the superficial; stats, demo, blah blah blah.

      Thanks for stopping by, Deb/Deefy and, as usual, leaving another thought- provoking comment.

  2. I’ve always been told that I can get along with anyone. I think part of that is my ability to “read” and assess people fairly well. This was very handy in dealing with students and parents when I taught school. I don’t know that I necessarily change my persona, but I naturally adjust my vocabulary and manner of speaking depending on who I’m talking to. 🙂

    • Oh Sprinkles, this is definitly a change in personality for me. What would really be confusing is when I was with work people and social people at the same time. Then I had NO IDEA how to act.

  3. I, in a way, just answered that question in a writing prompt I did here:

    http://jenniferlshelton.com/2011/09/18/who-do-you-think-you-are-writing-prompt-responses-1-2/

    I am the second one.

    Marie,
    I agree, we all wear masks at times, and other’s we draw on the qualities we love from others. What I have learned so much lately is, we are all a mirror of each other, so really what is in you is in me!! Those qualities you like are most definitly in you.. always.

    On the other side of that coin is: What we judge in another we judge in ourselves.. or what we don’t like or what we critisize in another is what we believe about ourselves.. the good, the bad and the ugly!!!

    Love this post Marie!! thanks.

    • Wow the timing of these posts are pretty weird. I like the idea of mirrors; I think its totally true. If I’m calm to a screaming child, that child settles down pretty quickly. It’s like I used to say, “If I’m not happy, then NOBODY is happy!” LOL

  4. Hmmm….give me a little while so I can decide which one of me is going to give you the best answer….

    • I think you should all get together right away, mostly because of the time you have on your hands. Not to mention the mysterious way you broke your foot! I wonder which one of you did that? :p

  5. oo, oo, oo..I can relate to this! I’ve always chalked it up to being a Gemini though! lol although I can’t say that I’m two faced, what you see is what you get..it just depends on when you catch me for what mood I’m in. lol so it’s not a mask per say. I do find myself guaging the room though and I find if it’s fun then I join right in, but its not so much that I change my personality..unless someone is speaking in an accent..then it’s all I can do not to start speaking with an accent…that’s super hard to control..lmao! I usually get along great with the kids too-probably cause Im short and immature!

    • You, Sue, have a whack of people living inside that little body! I don’t know you that well yet but I can see where this is going. I will, no doubt, take the part of your personality I will covet the most. It will be interesting to see what it is and if you notice. Thanks so much for visiting my page today, Sue. You are a breath of fresh air. xoxox

  6. Love this post! I always feel like I’m “myself”, but if I stop and think about “myself” is a million different moods dependent on when the wind blows. Always changing, always open. I guess that’s the most important part!

  7. Marie as your friend I want you to know that those were always in you .,… it just took meeting those people and connecting and realizing that you had it in you too. But I can totally see them all in you Mona i didn’t know but the other 2 I do and I think that by being with them as friends you were able to give yourself permission to bring that part out in you. I love you and you are an amazing woman and I miss you.

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