You Are Beautiful

I think there have been only 2 men in my life that have called me beautiful and really meant it.  There were others who could say the words but it never felt real to me. 

The first one was when I was 15 when my first “real” boyfriend and I went to the Concert Hall to see Dan Hill.  After we sat down in our seats, he turned to say something to me and stopped dead.  With wide eyes he simply said, “You are so beautiful, your hair is so beautiful under the lights”.  I heard exclamations of “ohs”  and “ahs” and “aw” from the row behind us.  I looked back and saw several women beaming at us.  My boyfriend was grinning and blushing.  I was so red, I felt like I needed to splash water on my face.  I will never forget that feeling.

He was so startled and it was like he just realized it for the first time.  I actually felt beautiful, which was a wonder back then.  He said it again several times after that but it was nothing like the first time.  It never is.

The second man said it last week.  I think it was the first time I really believed he meant it.  He had that same startled look on his face.

I went to see my Dad after finishing a shift at my second job, which is pure physical labour.  I was tired, my back was killing me and I was dirty.  One of my sisters arrived right after I did but left after a very short time.  So it was just me and him.

We talked about many things, sometimes several times.  I had, for the third time, to give him the bad news that his siblings had died several years ago.  He is always in disbelief when we talk about these things but trusts me totally and believes me. 

I know I looked exhausted as I sat across from him.  We had a few quiet moments and during one I could feel his gaze upon me.  “You’re beautiful, Marie”, he said.  “You are truly beautiful”.

I didn’t know what to say.  I looked at him to see if the glaze of dementia was on his face and in his eyes but no. 

No, dementia was not there. 

After a minute, fighting tears, I simply said “Thanks, Dad”.

15 responses to “You Are Beautiful

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster

    This entry is beautiful. I don’t know what you look like, but it’s clear to me there’s no shortage of internal beauty.

  2. U did it again u made me cry

  3. Oh. I stopped by to check your blog design and end up with my heart in pieces. I think this story is a perfect moment…

    I understand why you changed your av now.

  4. this made me want to cry, don’t know why. I’ve never stopped a guy with how I looked. says something about the guys I go with lol thanks for sharing this.

  5. Thank you for sharing those two perfect moments with such sweet clarity, Marie. I was moved, and in just a few heartbeats, too. I don’t know what you look like, but you’re writing is beautiful… and it is clearly very you.

  6. Thanks for being a part of my little (which might be a big) project. I might have to break it into volumes. Anyway Marie, I like this one the best so far but what matters is what you think! Right now I have a rough design of what the cover will look like but I have the whole month of May already taken so I will hope to get your vote or opinion when I post it in June. Thanks again.

  7. Deborah the Closet Monster

    I was torn between this one and Up Side Down (which is, like you, beautiful), but I think this one is a little more self-contained for someone who’s never read your blog. I think someone would read this and then be led to Up Side Down.

  8. Pingback: Paying it forward, blogger-style « The Monster in Your Closet

  9. Awww, I really love this post! You ARE beautiful; inside and out! 🙂

  10. ladyberrington


  11. Oh my word. So glad Deborah led me to this beautiful post! Fathers are a wonderful thing. I know a compliment from my dad is as genuine and full of love as they come 🙂

  12. Pingback: Looking Back, Pushing Forward | MARIE's space

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