Hire Me Softly


I just had a most amazing/weird/wonderful job interview yet!  Wal-Mart.  Yes, I applied at Wal-Mart.  I know I already have a job .  I know I already have 2 jobs .  This will be number 3 for those keeping track .  All in all, all of these jobs will add up to a little more than a full-time job.  I am far from being a workaholic.  I’m a woman with little or no child support, debts from a past relationship and meds that cost me the moon.  The house we live in has been sold so we need to go somewhere and pay for it somehow.  This will help pay for a lawyer (never mind telling me about Legal Aid.  They are not free.  They want $100 a month that I do not have) and then I can get what is rightfully mine and my daughter’s.

Yes my doctor said I could work more hours.  I did NOT tell him I would be working 3 different jobs.  I see him tomorrow.  Maybe I’ll tell him.  I probably will.

Now that I stopped defending and explaining myself (!!??!) let me tell you about this interview.  I had arrived 2 hours early to scope things out and shop a little with my little GST cheque. I brought my daughter and her birthday gift cards that were burning a hole in her pocket.  Oh and we brought her friend too.
There had been 2 telephone interviews already and after the last call I was told to go to this kinda secret place in Wal-Mart.  Well, I never knew it was there so it was a secret to me.    As I rounded the corner, looking for the bench I was told to look for, there were 2 (very) young women there and they were sitting on the bench.  They graciously made room for the old woman (being me).  They looked quite surprised to learn I was attending the interview too.  We were soon joined by another lovely young woman and then 2 boys (I cannot call them men, they were babies!)  Beside me one of the woman remarked that we weren’t dressed right; she had been told to come in black pants and a white shirt.  I don’t even own a white shirt or black pants.  There were two of them dressed to order while myself and the others were not.  No one told me to dress a certain way.  The plot thickened as I soon figured out we were all given a specific request to follow and most of them were different from the others.

I also noticed the camera, hiding behind glass.

I think the interview had already started.

Hmm that just reeks of paranoia so be careful so watch your back.

We went through the swinging Wal-Mart doors.

First we met the managers of the store.  Learned each one’s history with Wal-Mart.   We did the Wal-Mart Cheer.  Yep, I did it too.  We played a game with a partner where we interview each other then introduced our partner to the group.  I had Lisa.  This was going to be Lisa’s first job. Then all but 2 of the managers left the room.

We did a role play with our partners.    Our role play was pretty simple.  Lisa played a grandmother and I was an employee in the toy department.  A very young employee I might add.  She was looking for a gift for her grandchildren 2 months and 5 months (we covered that they had different parents.  I don’t think she was old enough to understand the birds and the bees).  I showed her how the Elmo worked, encouraged her to touch it and try the buttons.  Everyone oooo’d and ahhh’d when he blew kisses.  She asked if it came in any other colour.  Not batting an eyelash I told her Elmo was always red.  She left happy and everyone clapped.

There were some scenarios for all of us to solve.  Next the lead manager told us about benefits and working conditions and how fabulous (she said awesome but I am so tired of that word) it is to work as team members at Wal-Mart.  After about 1/2 hour, the other managers came back in.  They looked pretty excited.  Well, actually, they always looked like that.  No one stopped smiling for a second.

My boss calls it the “Wal-Mart Mentality”.

Then came the Speed Questions.  Very much like speed dating or, at least, the premise of speed dating.  All of us candidates were sitting on chairs on one side of the room.  Directly across was another set of chairs with a manager plunked down in those.  We had 2 minutes for the manager to ask the question on the clipboard in their hands and for I to ive my answer.  At the end of 2 minutes they all moved down the row while we candidates stay put.  I made sure I had gum in my mouth because with my hearing loss and lack of funds to buy batteries for my hearing aid, I would have to get closer to a manager than the others just to hear them among all the chatter.  And I had McDonald’s for supper.

The speed questions were amazing.  I can’t remember one single question they asked.  I can’t remember one single answer I gave except at one point it came out that this would be my third job.  I remember making each of them laugh (on purpose) and I think I answered the questions appropriately.

After another resounding Wal-Mart Cheer, it was finally over and I could find my kid somewhere in the mall.  Good thing for cell phones or I never would have found her.  They were in good spirits but who wouldn’t be after spending 2 hours at the mall with free money.

So now I wait to hear my fate.  I hope we all get in.  Great bunch of kids and a good company for them to start out their careers with.  Hopefully a good fit for someone like me too.

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2 responses to “Hire Me Softly

  1. ohh lord i loved this i truly hope you get the job and i wanna know what kinda walmart this was because the ones here stink lol but seriously luv it thank you for sharing you made me laugh
    ang

  2. It’s in Canada eh?

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