Crap


Oh boy, what a stupid day.  I can’t get over how my luck has been these last few months.  I gain a little ground then I go backwards about 79,341.34 miles.  Today just about put me over the edge.  I have been in mega debt since leaving my partner of 19 years.  Well, I was in mega debt then too but at least there were 2 of us paying for it and I had a job that paid extremely well.  Then I went on medical leave for 2 years, and during that time I left that man, left my daughter (leaving behind my broken heart and taking hers with me), and my cat and moved into my son’s house.  I now have a part-time job and live in another borrowed house but I was able to take my daughter and my cat with me, after 6 months apart.  I left him 1 year ago this week.  My, how time flies.

So I’m in debt and working part-time as per my doctor’s orders.  Not nearly enough to survive on never mind paying off debts I’ve been carrying for 10 years.  So it’s hard.  Yep.  Boo hoo.  I keep plugging on but don’t know how I can do it some days.   I seem to make do even when things are dark. 

Today was so dark I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. 

It started 2 days ago.  “Oh good” I thought, “the bank took some of the money I owe them.  Gee, I wonder when they’ll take the rest?”  That was $100.  I still owed $300.  No problem,  I had planned everything out to the penny just like I always do.  The only other thing to come out was a payment for VISA.  Another $100.  Hmm, it was supposed to come out on Friday.  This was Monday.  Oh well it should all work out, right?

Wrong.  Frickin Wrong.

VISA took out $150 Tuesday.  Not $100.  And, oh look!  Out comes the rest of my loan payment!  Not enough money in there, Sugar.  Crap crap crap.  To most people $50 is not a lot of money.  For me it’s gas so I can get to work for 2 weeks or it’s milk and bread and eggs etc.  With my pay cheque and getting a few dollars from that man, I would have had exactly $35.75 left over after paying my bills.

I called VISA.  My voice was trembling.  The lovely woman employed by VISA collections was very nice as I`m sure she was trained to be.  She didn`t seem to believe that VISA made a mistake.  I was on hold while she read memos on my account.  Apparently there were lots.  It took her a quite a while; I know because I was on hold for 2 renditions of “Mandy”  by the great Barry Manilow.   She found the memo the other VISA collections employee made the week before which outlined our creative payment plan.

She could not apologize enough for the mistake.  I told her apologies just won’t do me any good since I’m now in arrears with my arrears at my other bank.  She said they would mail me a cheque and it would get to me in 5 – 7 business days.  Huh.  Crap.

I called the bank manager at my credit union (we are on first name basis now) and left her a garbled message apologizing for the yet again bouncing funds in my account.  Right after I hung up with her voice mail my cell phone rang.  It was some higher up manager at VISA collections.  As soon as she told me who she was, I pleaded with her to please not pick on me anymore or at least let it be quick and painless. 

I was doing the best I could.  CRAP.

No, she called to apologize for the error again.  I told her apologies won’t even get me a nice bed when I go live at Main Street Project.  I was joking but only a little bit.  A really little bit.  Then she fucked with my mind.  She told me to take my VISA card, TODAY ONLY (like it was a sale or something), to a RBC branch.  They will then give me the $50 they owe me.  She has it all written up in my file online and I was to do it TODAY ONLY then to call her immediately after I get my money.  She must have repeated this 14 and a half times.  The the manager from the Credit Union called me back then so I told her my new plan.  She sounded doubtful. No one believes me.

I finished work and headed to my home branch of RBC since it’s not too far from my home branch of the Credit Union.  I just couldn’t think of how to put this to the teller.  I went up to the teller and handed him my VISA card and said, “Apparently I’m supposed to give you this and you will give me $50.”  I smiled in a very trustworthy way.  Very professional was Dylan (it was on his name tag).  He barely batted an eyelash and typed.  Typed some more.  Then typed some more.  Crap.  I knew it.  The Customer Service Rep was standing near by and heard everything I said.  I think she thought I was trying to rob $50 from the bank.  She checked out the screen and we all laughed (I don’t know why I did, I had enough already).  We left Dylan to do normal banking requests and went to her desk.  I explained what happened.  I gave her the phone number of the upper manager from VISA Collections.  She didn’t look like she believed me and she had a lot of questions I just didn’t know how to answer.  My brain and my mouth were not working as a team by then so the only sounds that came out like “ooroeee”.  I pointed to the phone number again.  She finally started dialing.  She listened.  Then she hung up.  Crap.

“Voice mail” she said.  Crap.  I knew this woman was not going to give me the money.  She said there was another number she can call.  She did.  It worked.  Lickity split (well 45 minutes later), I had $50 in my hands with no additional charges. 

You’d think that was the end of it.

I got to the Credit Union and told the teller I wanted to put $26 on my goddamn loan payment.  I didn’t say GD but I wanted to.  I was shocked when she told me the whole account was now overdrawn by another $37.  Crap.  She showed me my account on her screen.  A payment of $6.41 tried to come out from the time I left work until now.  So they bounced that and charged me $37.  Crap.  I now owe the bank $63,000,000.  May as well be.

I must have looked pretty bad or the teller pressed a button that warns of a weeping customer in the public area.  There is a teller there who keeps getting in my way when I am hysterical and panicking.  She always smooths things over and makes things better.  She smells really good too.  I felt a hand on my arm and it was her.  She even called me by my name.  Crap.  I’m memorable and not at all how I would like to be.  I asked her if I could see my friend the manager.  She went right away and came right back and led me into the manager’s office.

Not much after that.  I gave the bank manager $30 instead of $26.  No one will reverse the stupid overdraft, whatever I was paying for didn’t get paid and I am STILL in the hole and can’t get out.  Good thing I went to food bank yesterday.

Crap.  Boo hoo.

So against doctor’s orders I am looking for a second job.  It should help.  Crap.  🙂

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