Today at work I was interventioned. Or whatever, intervened with, intervented, whatever. A co-worker very firmly told me today I had to stop rescuing people. I, of course, looked at her with my wide-eyed (well my eyes used to be big and now just kinda sag like the rest of me) filled-with-wonderment, what-you-talkin about? look. Ah but she would have none of it. A list of recent events where I was really only trying to be helpful to co-workers or, at least, I thought about helping, were all brought up in a way that seemed I was very wrong doing such kind things. Okay, I know this mommy thing gets me taken advantaged of (and no, not like that!) by some people. Well maybe a few more than some. Okay okay maybe everyone walks all over my sagginess alright!!
I thought I would try it for today and restrained myself as much as any human can and was quite proud of myself in deciding to use my new skill of unenabling (?). This seemed to make my co-worker satisfied but I can’t help feeling I did it to make her happy. Oy yoi yoi. I just realized that. So really for me to stop enabling and pleasing everyone I had to please just one person by not making people happy. I wonder if she realized it too. I guess its better one person than the workplace.
Later on in ANOTHER meeting today with the very same co-worker about a similar topic. Well, the same one. The difference is my sweet co-worker told me today to tell a little white lie. Now we know I am so good at lying because I do it all the time. So I think she is enabling me to lie! Because it makes me happy! And in this case it will make her happy for me to do it! I don’t know the difference any more. Am I wrong? I mean, I will lie anyway but maybe I should put my foot down on this one. Oh but I so love to lie. To weave a wonderful story and able to keep most of the facts straight. I could write a whole blog on my lies.
Umm I think I got off topic.
Anyway lets go back to the rescuing part of my day. As I was unable to rescue anyone in any official enabling capacity, I was feeling pretty out of sorts today that really had nothing to do with the amazing cold-medicine-in-combination-with-my-narcolepsy meds. That actually felt good. But I better not keep talking about that or this blog will be more ridiculous than it already is.
So I get home feeling very unsatisfied as I was not able to rescue anyone the way I wanted to. I had a nap (came down off my med cocktail) then went outside to sit on my swing to watch the birds and my daughter do gymnastics on then lawn. My daughter did the gymnastics and the birds flew around and squawked. I think my kid may have squawked too. She did land on her head. I was good and didn’t do anything to help her.
Okay I gotta stop doing that or I will never finish. So the daughter goes into the house to bug her daddy for a while. My cat came to sit with me and I told her all my woes. She looked at me with those kind I-was-NEVER-a-mother-because-you-professionally-butchered-my-uterus eyes. After a bit she climbed off the swing to do whatever cats do.
A short time later, she appeared out of the peonies with something in her mouth. And it had legs. And they were moving. I threw my kid’s shoe at the cat (I must say I did not throw my own shoe) so she dropped her little gift. I went closer and there was a beautiful bird, breathing and begging me to help her.
My cat sat a short way away looking at me with that look in her eyes I must get when I think I am helping somebody. Or its the look in my eyes when someone throws a shoe at me and takes my bird. Probably one and same anyway. I could only stare back at her with gratitude as I place the tiny bird next to me on the swing and watched it slowly relax. Until my daughter came out. With long arms and clutching fingers and a very loud voice. After explaining I was not playing with the bird but helping it, she went off in a huff into the house. I was alone once again with my new friend who must love me by now because I rescued it again.
So I made a bird happy and my kid very unhappy. Somehow that seems right and probably what happens everytime I do try to save anyone. Someone has to suffer and probably the one closest to me. Not my daughter all the time, I’m sure, but I bet she would argue that one. All I should do, really, is lie. Works most of the time.
One thing at a time I guess. Oh yeah. I lied. The bird died.
HA! Fooled you again. I checked and its still on the swing and not dead. Yet.