What would you do if you had a million dollars (Canadian)? This is what is posted in the bathroom at the office. A big sheet of paper one could write their answers and ideas on. Of course we all hope each person washes their hands before touching the bathroom pen. It is in the bathroom and next to the sink and pretty close to the toilet. Maybe if I had a million dollars (Canadian) i would buy every one a fresh pen so they could write on the wall in there without worrying about bathroom gross invisible things.
Okay, so what would I do? I dunno now since I seem to have bought all those pens. Okay,. lets say I had ANOTHER million canadian dollars, then what would i buy?
Well, I would have to give my boy some of it so he can blow it on stupid things all 21 year old guys would want. Not like school or his own business. Oh but wait, he could open up a topless car wash. Hmmm. only if he hired men, good looking men. I will make that a condition. Wonder what he would do?
Then I would have to give my mother in law money so she can be frugal with more money than she is used too. She is a sweetie but won’t spend much on herself. Even if she goes on a trip I think she comes back with more than when she left! I wanna learn that one.
My mom and dad would have to get a big chunk. They helped me out of so many jams I am stained like blueberries! My mom could have her own limo and driver (maybe one from the car wash?) and be at her beck and call whenever she wants. I already promised my dad a million oh henry bars. There goes all the money again!
Now I need another million canadian dollars because I still did not give my girl or that man anything yet. NOT the best thing to do since I have to live with them. My daughter is easy because she is just learning the concept of money and how far it will go (or not). She will buy all the stuffed cats at the toy store, buy a farm and marry her best friend, Izzy, and live there with her. Boys are yucky you know. I’m sure she will think of giving her momma something. So far I have nothing. Well except those pens. I wonder if I can take them back?
Oh now I have to do something for THAT MAN. Pretty easy. Smokes, Smoke and boats that go fast and are not leaky in any way. Unless the water is hitting him in the face as he races up the Winnipeg River smoking. He is smoking, hopefully not the boat.
Oh of course there are the folks I work with. I am sure I will get a list. I can check the list on the bathroom wall at work.
Now I still haven’t bought anything for me. Except those pens. And those were really for the safety of the persons using the bathroom at work. So technically nothing for me after ( I had to go back and count) 3 million canadian dollars! And clients haven’t gotten what they want yet either. another list.
Maybe if I took back some pens I could get a new pair of shoes. Oh but the babysitter has the same size as me and so does Meaghan. Those would be gone.
I know! No one will take my fat so LIPOSUCTION. I would be the big winner at the weigh in! Unless Shannon cuts her dreads. Biotch. And I would get my eyes fixed like Lizzy did and never wear glasses again! Unless I want to. But not a real green dress, thats cruel.
Feel free to add your favorite million canadian dollar things you would get. Or you would get for me since I already spent too much on everyone else.
A lobotomy is not that expensive is it?